At the start of the process there is the negociation. The establishment of soft and hard limits. (Soft limit? These are: I don't really like this, but if you do, I'll do it. But not too much, please. Hard limit? I really don't like this. You do this, I'm not playing with you, ever again.) You can see very quickly that the submissive is laying down the groundwork. Also, the safe-word is used by the submissive, not the Domme. Again, it's the sub that can instantly stop play. For things to remain safe, sane & consensual, this is how it must be.
When a couple have been playing for a while, and they know eachother very well, play can get a little more experimental. Soft limits can get pushed; gently ! Encouraging the sub to do things could all be part of the play.
